


Slow down, darling, the stars will align

by Prrrrmm (orphan_account)



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drinking Games, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn, mention of past Akira/akechi, so many drinking games and parties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:55:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24780427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Prrrrmm
Summary: Every time they kissed, Akira was reminded this wasn’t meant to be. Every time he held Ryuji’s face in his hands, leaning forward to share the same breath and taste the liquor on his lips, he knew it could be the last time.A story told through parties, and Akira's pining for something more.
Relationships: Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji
Comments: 2
Kudos: 92





	Slow down, darling, the stars will align

**Author's Note:**

> I started this fic back in January, and it took me until now to finish :') This originally was supposed to be a very angsty fic but alas, I couldn't do it!   
> I hope you guys enjoy and thank you always to the wonderful Mils for their help in both editing and late-night conversations on how best to write this.

Every time they kissed, Akira was reminded this wasn’t meant to be. Every time he held Ryuji’s face in his hands, leaning forward to share the same breath and taste the liquor on his lips, he knew it could be the last time. 

The first time Akira met him, he couldn’t bring himself to say anything. It was at Ann’s apartment soon after the start of the fall semester - already the chill of autumn biting at his fingertips and ears. 

“Who is that?” he asked, nudging Makoto, careful of the way his drink sloshed precariously in his cup as he did so. He was already three drinks and a shot in, and his body felt too loose. Spilling his drink was a sure-fire way to not get his question answered.

“Who? Oh- Sakamoto?” Makoto answered, leaning heavily against his side to see better through the crowd of people which always seemed to be at Ann’s. “His name is Ryuji. Pretty sure he goes to your college. I think he’s there on a sport’s scholarship. Track or something like that. He’s sweet, but he’s a lot.” She turned back to one of her friends and laughed at something they said. 

Akira ignored the conversation and kept his eyes on Ryuji. He was tall and lean, confident in the way he wormed his way through the crowds and made his way to Ann, slinging an arm around her shoulders. 

As much as Akira loved Ann, he disliked the way people flocked to her parties. It was near impossible to ever get close to her - and that meant close to Ryuji, who was glued to her side for the rest of the night. 

Shooting her a quick text goodbye, Akira walked back to his apartment, the cool air clearing his head of drinks and pretty blondes. 

Akira had a crush on Ann since he met her two years before. She had a sense of humor like a sword and kindness spilling from her fingers like rose petals. He told her as much and she laughed at him and called him a nerd. He shrugged and soaked up her laughter like sunlight. He was content to like her quietly forever. 

But, he went to Yusuke’s party a week after Ann’s and suddenly there was Ryuji glued to her side once again. He talked easily with everyone and even across the room, Akira could hear loud laughter bubbling up. He wondered if it was okay to be interested in two people at once - one he had known for years, and the other he had never talked to. 

“It’s not like you to be on the outskirts of a group,” Yusuke said, sliding next to him.

Akira took a careful sip of his drink - something with coke in it, that’s all he knew. “This party is about your upcoming exhibit. Shouldn’t you be in the center of it all?”

“You know I enjoy watching the way people interact. It gives me inspiration. And you didn’t answer my question.”

Lips quirking up, Akira said, “There wasn’t really a question to begin with.”

Yusuke laughed. “You’re right, forgive me. Why are you not by Ann’s side tonight? Is she not your best friend?”

“I like all my friends equally-”

“Yes, but you wish to date Ann,” Yusuke interjected.

‘I like all my friends equally,” Akira said again, fighting a flush, “But she has someone by her and I don’t want to interrupt.”

“You mean Ryuji?” When Akira nodded, Yusuke continued, “Have you not met him yet? Come, I’ll introduce you two.”

Arguing with him would be like arguing with his cat, Morgana, so Akira allowed himself to be dragged to his group of friends. 

“Akira!” Ann exclaimed, peeling herself from under Ryuji’s arm to throw her own around his neck. “I only saw you for a moment last week! You should have come hung out, we missed you.”

Laughing and detangling himself, Akira said, “You were preoccupied. I didn’t want to intrude.”

“With this knucklehead?” Ann replied, jerking her thumb at Ryuji. “Never.” 

Stepping around her, Akira waved self consciously. “I'm Akira.” 

“Ryuji,” he replied, his grin big and easy. Akira felt his face burn brighter. “I’ve never seen you around!”

Ann snorts and leans back into her seat. “It’s because Akira is antisocial. He’d rather hang out with his cat. He’s always gone by the time you get here. But, he’s the best at beer pong.”

If his smile was already like sunlight filtering in through the tree canopies in summer, the one Ryuji gave in answer to Ann was a full blast of it, unfiltered and hard to look at. “Dude, let’s play then! I’m forever looking for someone decent to be on my team. Futaba and Ann are deadly.” 

Akira laughed. “Oh, I know. Futaba has a deadly aim and Ann is just spiteful enough to bulldoze her way into a win.” They meandered into the dining room where Yusuke had cleared off his table and moved it to the center of the room. It was perfect for beer pong - rectangular and glass, no wood to be ruined if a drink got spilled. 

The music was loud, pounding in his ears - or was that his heartbeat? He’d barely drank, not enough to even be tipsy, but he knew it would only be a matter of time playing against the girls. A game was set up quickly, Ann reminding them of the house rules, and before long they were down one to one and Akira was floating. He was warm and Ryuji’s arm around his shoulder was even warmer. 

Slipping his arm off, Ryuji took his turn, the small ball arcing perfectly into the final cup. Cheers erupted and Akira found himself swept into Ryuji’s hug. For a second, it was just them, their faces too close and cheeks flushed by their drinks. Ryuji pulled back, Haru already asking him to be on her team next. Ann and Futaba were too busy laughing, poking each other’s sides, to be upset by their loss. 

Ryuji’s phone beeped and he took a quick glance down before raising a hand in a quick wave. “Aight! I gotta go! My ride is here.” Drunken goodbyes were made and sloppy kisses pressed onto his cheeks as he laughed. “I’ll see you guys later!” 

Akira stayed for one more game, him and Yusuke losing horribly. He was too drunk to try and walk the twenty minutes that separate his apartment from Yusuke’s. Lyft called, he said his goodbyes and walked out of the too-warm apartment. As he waited for his ride, his mind flickered back to Ryuji’s face too close to his own, and he wished just for a second, that his arm had been around his waist instead of his shoulders. 

In the following weeks, Akira nearly forgot about Ryuji. College was taking over his life, and more often than not he stayed in rather than going out with his friends. Occasionally, he would meet with one of them for lunch or a study session and he would think back to his high school days. He hadn’t had many friends in his small town, and he wondered if he had grown up here with them if school would have been more enjoyable. 

When he was home, Futaba was his company. They had moved in together to save on money her first year in college, but more often than not, she was at her dad’s down the street. When Futaba was gone, Morgana was who Akira talked to. He curled up on every textbook and laid on him any given opportunity. At night, Akira’s mind was full of a list of things still needed to get done and homework and internships. 

It was close to the end of November before things calmed down enough that he poked his head out of his studying hell to see what his friends were up to. They had an unofficial schedule of who would throw parties and get-togethers. Ann always went first, then Yusuke, then Akira and Futaba. Haru would throw one occasionally, and when Akechi was part of their friend group he would cook them dinner and watch a movie with them as well. But things changed, and Akira knew that. Akechi was still around, but no one talked to him any more after what had happened the previous spring. 

Akira wondered where Ryuji fit in with everything - did he throw his own parties that Akira never knew about? It was possible; they all had friends outside of him. Shaking the loneliness welling up away, he sent texts out asking when everyone was free next. He sent another to Ann asking if she would bring Ryuji too. The winky face she sent back settled heavy in his stomach.

Akira had neighbors, and so the music Futaba played had to be quiet. Their apartment was small, but it just meant that everyone hung out in a tighter group. For Futaba’s sake, they only ever invited their innermost circle of friends to their place. Akira was always secretly happy about that. He made sure to check on her as the night went on, her social battery was bigger than it had been when he first met her and her social anxiety was not as bad, but still… 

He was talking to her as she figured out what to play next when Ann, Shiho, and Ryuji walked in the door. Ryuji looked around in interest as Ann made her way over to give them hugs. 

“Took you guys long enough to get here,” Futaba said, a hint of a laugh dancing behind her thick frames. 

Ann shrugged. “Well you know, I had to pick up two extra people.”

“Don’t listen to her, she’s lying,” Shiho interjected with a teasing frown. “She was pregame drinking.” 

Akira laughed and made eye contact with Ryuji. His smile was ever-present, and Akira felt warm all over. 

“Since Shiho is here, it wouldn’t be fair to play beer-pong,” Haru said, joining their group. Yusuke nodded from his post by Morgana. “Someone would get left out.” 

Makoto finished mixing her drink in the kitchen and came out to say, “We could always play circle of death or cups.”

“Cups is fun!” Haru replied, looking at her friends for confirmation. 

Akira groaned, his hand resting against the flat of his stomach. “I think I’ll sit out, to be honest.” 

Ryuji gave him a quizzical look and Ann laughed loudly. “You’re only saying that because you barfed last time.” 

At Ryuji’s wrinkled nose Akira explained, “I choked on my drink! It wasn’t my fault!”

“You still threw up and it was gross,” Futaba said, “but I’ll play.” 

Ryuji huffed a laugh and stood aside so those playing could make their way to the kitchen. “I’ll sit out with you. I hate chugging my drinks.” 

They watched as their friends played. Music was soft in the background and the room was lit by the fairy lights Futaba strung up months before. 

“Yusuke told me you went to the same college I go to. What do you go for?” Akira asked, sipping his drink for lack of anything else to do with his hands. 

A drink had somehow ended up in Ryuji’s hand as well and he took a long pull before answering. “I got in on a sports scholarship. But I’ve been debating if I want to keep doing track or if I want to do something else.”

A cheer went up as Makoto was the first to flip her cup. Akira took another drink, either his tolerance had gone down or his drink was strong because he already felt the telltale signs of a flush high on his cheeks. “Why’s that?”

Ryuji shrugged. “I dunno man, I feel like running isn’t a real degree. I need something that’s going to make my ma proud and help her so she doesn’t have to work anymore. What about you? What are you in for?”

Laughing, Akira said, “You make it sound like a prison. But to answer your question, I’m going in for politics and whatnot. I have a paid internship lined up in the spring.” He went to take another drink only to find it had already been drained. How many drinks had he taken since standing next to Ryuji? Enough to make him rock on his feet. 

“Politics? Really?” 

Akira shrugged. Telling a near stranger - a hot stranger - that when he was a kid he was falsely accused of assault only to have his name cleared by an upcoming politician was a lot to take in. “Someone got me interested. Be right back.” Waggling his empty cup, Akira slipped into the kitchen behind Ann. 

Filling his cup up with water, he took a few gulps. He needed to clear his head. It wasn’t even midnight and he was ready to go to bed. Bringing up the past wasn’t his favorite thing to do. 

“You okay?” Ann asked, checking him lightly with her hip. At his nod, she sighed. “Wanna talk about it?” 

Despite himself, a smile pulled at his lips and he shook his head. “It’s okay. Play your game.” After making himself a fresh drink, Akira settled on the couch beside Ryuji. 

Slipping his phone back into his pocket, Ryuji gave another smile. “So how long have you known Ann?”

Akira hummed, thinking back. “I guess about two and a half years now. I met her when I first started college. She was my first friend.”

“It’s crazy that we’ve had all the same friends and never met up until now!” Ryuji said. “I’ve known Ann and Shiho since we were kids. We went to the same middle school and high school.” 

“I didn’t get out too much my first year,” Akira said. 

“He was too busy being antisocial with his cat,” Futaba said, wandering in with a yawn. She tucked herself into Akira’s side, her toes worming under his thighs. 

“You have a cat?” Ryuji asked, looking around as if Morgana would appear on command.

Nodding, Akira said, “Morgana. He was a stray so I took him in and nursed him back to health. He’s probably hiding in my room. He’s social, but he is a stickler for bedtimes.” 

Ryuji laughed. “God, I wish that were me. If I actually went to bed on time my grades would probably be better.” 

“Do you have to have good grades to run?” Akira asked, tilting his head too far and leaning it against the side of the couch. He liked it there, it kept the room from spinning as much and decided to leave it. 

Laughing again, Ryuji said, “I’m here on a scholarship, man. Of course I gotta keep good grades.”

“Akira,” Futaba murmured and when he looked, she was half asleep. Giving her a fond smile, he stood unsteadily and set his drink on the table.

“Let me get her to bed, she’s done for the night,” Akira explained, pulling her up despite her sleepy protests. 

“I can walk to bed, I just wanted to tell you I was going,” she grumbled.

“I know, but I wanted to make sure you were okay.” He led her down the hall to her room. “I’ll come check on you before I go to bed. Lemme know if you need anything.” She rolled over, pulling her blankets closer. 

Laughing softly, Akira went back out to the party to find his table being cleaned off for beer pong. 

“Futaba went to bed, now we have six again. We can do a championship tournament!” Shiho said and Akira eyed her. She was drunker than he was and unsteady on her feet. 

He gave a sharp smile. “You’re on.” An arm dropped over his shoulder and he jumped before realizing it was only Ryuji.

“We’re a team right?”

Akira nodded. “Absolutely.” 

Together they demolished their friends, but Akira only cared about the easy back and forth they had. More than once, he leaned into Ryuji’s strong arms, reveling in the way they kept him up. 

As everyone was packing up and Akira waved goodbye, Ryuji stopped with a goofy smile. “I think we lost.” 

“We won though,” Akira replied, his lips twitching into a smile.

“Yeah, but we’re more drunk than anyone else.”

Laughing, Akira agreed. He said goodbye, and maybe it was his imagination - his drunk thoughts messing with his head - but he thought he saw Ryuji’s eyes drop to his lips for a moment. 

Spring snuck up on them slowly after such a miserable winter. Holiday parties had taken precedence over the usual college bangers they threw. But now the sweet smell of flowers began to tickle Akira’s nose and Morgana’s shedding made him wish for the sweet release of death. Or at least a lint roller to be on hand at all times. 

Finals were creeping up and looming over all of them and their group chat - Ryuji now included - was full of stress and odd-houred texts. It was Ryuji who suggested a party before finals. Makoto seconded it, saying, “If you don’t know what you need to know by now, it’s too late to try and cram.” Akira wasn’t surprised anymore, it had become almost a tradition at this point to party before a test rather than stressing about it. 

The party was planned for the weekend before finals and Akira realized that he hadn’t seen Ryuji since January. It had been in passing, no more than a hurried hello as Ryuji ran out of the cafe on campus just as Akira was entering. They texted, though not often. Akira was ashamed to admit he was shy and enjoyed watching his friends sling messages at each other rather than joining in. 

He left for Makoto’s, kissing Morgana on the head as he went with the promise to be home before too late. Morgana chirped back at Akira, as if calling him out on his bullshit. He left after another kiss and a scritch, grimacing at the cat fur clinging to his shirt. 

Things were good. Akira was three drinks in and had forgotten about the cat fur floating off of him in waves and more importantly, his final. Ryuji had his arm thrown over his shoulders again and they were cheering on as Ann shotgunned a beer. Circle of death was a tricky game to play when he was already slightly drunk, but it was infinitely more fun than another game of beer pong. They had gone a few rounds and the rules were starting to blur together. He was mid drink, eyes watering with laughter when he heard a sharp gasp from behind him. Together, he and Ryuji peered around.

The drink in his mouth turned to acid and he choked. 

Akechi’s mouth curved into a familiar smile, knowing and attractive, and Akira only felt more sick. Any sense of joy, of the warmth of the party was gone. Ryuji’s arm felt too heavy and he shrugged it off. 

“Why are you here?” Ann asked, coming from her spot on the couch to stand in front of him, her hands on her hips. She was all tall grace and claws waiting to be unsheathed. 

“Is it not tradition for us to get together before finals?” Akechi quipped, tilting his head. “I only just got back on campus, so I figured it would be a good time to catch up with all of you.”

“Too bad. No one wants to catch up with you. Go away,” Ann snapped and Akechi’s eyes flicked back to Akira’s. 

Even though he wanted to flinch away, to hide his face and pretend he wasn’t there, Akira stared back. His back was a sword, steel and upright. He wouldn’t bend under him again. 

Akechi smiled again, small and knowing. “I see.” With a nod to them, he turned and left.

“What a creep,” Ann grumbled, throwing herself down by Akira’s side.

“Who was that? What just happened?” Ryuji asked, looking around for anyone to answer his question. 

There was an awkward silence, and then Akira sighed. “My ex. We broke up last spring because he plagiarized on an essay and then blamed me for it.”

Ann laughed bitterly, “Blamed you? He practically pointed a gun at your head and left you for dead. It took forever for anyone to figure out what really happened! He could have ruined your whole career with what's-his-face politician. He was trying to steal the job from you and you know it.” 

Ryuji whistled low and Akira tipped back his drink. It was quiet once more, the game forgotten and the mood stifled. Eventually, Ryuji looked at him. “So. You’re into guys and girls?”

Ann sputtered a laugh and Akira ducked his head to hide his smile. “Yeah, I guess I am.” 

“Too bad you couldn't see his crush on Ann when they first met. It was interesting to watch for sure,” Yusuke said. 

Ryuji laughed and clapped him on the back. “Ann would eat you for breakfast man.” 

“Shiho would eat me for breakfast,” Akira replied, and their friends howled with laughter. 

The game picked back up. One shot turned into three, and one rum and coke turned into whatever garbage punch Ann had made - 

Akira felt too hot

Too much

Too dizzy

Too… too aware.

He splashed water on his face in Makoto’s bathroom. It was small, only really room for one person, but when Ryuji pushed his way in with a comment about someone’s fashion sense tossed over his shoulder, Akira could only lean back to make room. 

“Sorry, I need to do that too,” Ryuji laughed, brushing against him at the sink. “I always feel really hot when I drink.”

“You’re hot,” Akira mumbled, his eyes on the long stretch of Ryuji’s neck. His fuzzy mind couldn’t wrap around the words coming out of his mouth, but it could fantasize about pressing an open mouth kiss there with perfect clarity. 

Ryuji turned to face him with perfect seriousness, water dripping down his cheeks. “Do you wanna-”

Shoving himself forward, Akira let out a breathy, “Oh fuck yeah,” before his fantasy was coming true and his lips were on Ryuji’s neck. He pressed kisses on it, sucking and nipping just to hear Ryuji’s quiet groans. Ryuji backed up, turning them so his back was against the sink and Akira was pressed against him. Hands tangled in Akira’s hair as he continued to nip up the side of Ryuji’s jaw until he was pressing a kiss on the corner of his lips. 

“Dude, just kiss me already,” Ryuji breathed, and Akria laughed. They came together as one, breaths mingling, centimeters from each other.

A sharp knock at the door startled them, and Akira pushed himself back, tripping over the toilet and landing in Makoto’s small trash can. 

Bursting into laughter, Ryuji helped him up. “You good dude?”

“Ah, yeah,” Akira replied, face burning. He dropped Ryuji’s hand like it burned. Cracking the door open, he was met with Ann’s gleeful face.

“You good in there?” she asked innocently.

“I would have been in a few more seconds,” he grumbled, pushing past her. Laughter followed him out the door and was swallowed by the thumping bass and chatter from the living room. There were more people here than there were when he arrived, and he had to push his way through a crowd to the kitchen. Debating another drink, Akira leaned on the counter. 

“Akira?” Ann called, softly. Her voice carried over the music, and she stepped closer, rubbing his arm. “Are you okay? I’m sorry for breaking you guys up.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m okay. I think it’s a good time for me to go home,” Akira said, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Ryuji going with you?” Ann teased, winking when he flushed redder. 

Akira looked back at the party where his friends were dancing, cups held high in the air. “Nah, but it was probably good of you to break us up when you did. I shouldn’t be taking advantage of someone who’s drunk.”

Ann frowned. “It looked like he was pretty into it too.” 

Shrugging a shoulder, Akira waved goodbye. “Tell everyone I’ll see them later.”

It was shitty to leave like that, but he needed fresh air and he needed to get away from Ryuji before he made a fool of himself. Again. 

In bed for the night, he absently pet Morgana and wondered if Ryuji made it home safe. He wondered why he kept wondering that. 

The next party was a nightmare. Everywhere he looked, Ryuji was there. He was laughing, making eye contact, and inch by inch getting under Akira’s skin. He was a distraction in their games, a presence at his side, and Akira couldn’t have ignored him if he wanted to. There was tension building, electricity crackling each time their arms brushed and it snapped when Yusuke suggested a club. It was a well-liked one in their group and it was met with unanimous agreement. 

Lafitte’s was only a block away and they walked, Akira dragging in the back watching his friends. He wondered what it would have been like if they had met when they were younger. Would he have joined them dancing and being loud as they walked? He wanted to believe so. 

“You’re quiet tonight,” Ryuji said, bumping into him.

Akira gave him a slow once over, appreciating the button up he was wearing. “I’m always quiet.”

Waving a hand, Ryuji said, “Yeah, but this is like the quiet quiet. Like you got something on your mind. Whatcha thinking about?”

Akira looked back at his friends, they all knew his past except for Ryuji. He was already a little tipsy, the fuzziness of the evening pulling him in different directions, but down this rabbit hole was not one he was allowing himself to go in. “I was thinking about the club,” he lied.

The look Ryuji gave him said he knew that wasn’t it but dropped it thankfully. They arrived at the club and Akira felt a smile spread on his face. Lafitte’s was fun; a good way to forget the night and dance for hours. 

It was minutes later, or maybe hours, Akira wasn’t sure, but he was sitting for the first time at a table in the back, watching the dance floor and the way the lights flashed. He was in the dark, and he took comfort in knowing no one could see him. The smoke machine was going full blast making it hard to make anyone out. He thought he saw Ann at the bar, and Yusuke dipping here and there but he wasn’t sure where anyone else was. 

Like magic, as he wondered where Ryuji was, he appeared at his elbow. “You know,” Ryuji started. “We never did finish what we started last time.” 

Akira shivered and turned to face him completely. The dim lighting made it impossible to see how flushed his face was but the casual way he held his drink told Akira he was at least slightly past tipsy. “I don’t want to take advantage,” he said, turning back to the dance floor. 

“You’re not!” Ryuji insisted. “I promise I really want to kiss you. You’re like rad as shit man and like, totally got that tormented soul thing going on that I’m a slut for.”

Snorting, Akira dropped his face in his hands. “Tormented soul thing?”

“It’s the eyelashes I think,” Ryuji said, thoughtfully. 

Laughing again, Akira finished his drink and turned back to him. “Okay.” 

“Okay?”

Nodding, he waited. This time, he let Ryuji come to him, and their kiss was soft. It was a delicate question and Akira leaned forward, nearly falling out of his chair. He could taste pineapple on Ryuji’s lips and pulled back, confused. 

“What were you drinking?”

“Pineapple upside-down cake or something like that. Pretty good actually,” Ryuji said with a grin. “Are we going to talk about our drinks tonight or do you plan on kissing me for real?”

Laughing, Akira leaned forward again, pressing his mouth to Ryuji’s. Their kisses were on the fast track to becoming something more, and the moment became more charged when Ryuji’s hands slipped down Akira’s waist, tugging him closer. 

“Wait-” he said, sliding his hands up Ryuji’s chest.

Ryuji stopped immediately, pulling back. His chest rose and fell under Akira’s hands, and he could feel the fast beat of his heart. “You good?”

“Yeah, just, I don’t want someone to walk up and see my hand down your pants.”

Snorting, Ryuji pulled back completely. “Was that where this was leading?” 

“I was kind of hoping so, yeah. If you’re down for it?” Akira said. 

“Lucky for you, I happen to know where a convenient bathroom is if you don’t wanna go all the way to my apartment,” Ryuji said. 

Akira considered, ultimately his dick made the decision for him. “Bathroom.” 

Laughing again, Ryuji grabbed his hand and without a glance back to their friends led Akira through the winding hallways of Lafitte’s. He moved with a single-minded intention, dancing around other patrons that left Akira was breathless as he stared at his broad shoulders. 

“This isn’t the way to the bathroom,” he said, realizing the crowds were thinning and the bass thumped gently as opposed to the brutal way it had been before. 

“It’s the way to the staff bathroom,” Ryuji said. “I worked here last year so I know it’s usually empty at this time. Even better, there’s a lock.” 

Heart slamming in his ribcage, Akira swallowed. “Oh. Oh, that’s good.” 

There was a door at the end of the hallway, a dead end, and their destination. Ryuji turned to face him, walking backward. “You like the idea of a locked door or the idea that I was a bartender?” His lips curled into a smile and Akira’s breath stuck in his throat. 

He pulled Ryuji to a stop and kissed him before the grin had a chance to fade. “Both, both are good. But I need to be in that room with you right now before I go back on my statement and everyone’s going to see us.” 

Ryuji laughed, “Gotcha.” He pulled them to the door and Akira didn’t miss the way his steps quickened. 

Akira stepped in, his eyes adjusting to the brightness after the dim hallway. Ryuji locked the door behind them and the rest of the night blurred by with knowing grins, and an Uber ride with far too much kissing.

If his mind wasn’t so muddled, he would have tried to memorize the sounds Ryuji made in his ear and the feeling of his fingers in his hair. He fell asleep, the smell of Ryuji drowning him and taking him under.

Akira woke to dawn’s grey light and warmth at his back. He closed his eyes again and sighed. No stranger to one night stands, he knew he needed to get up. Slipping from under the covers, he paused to look back. It hurt, he was surprised to find, to see Ryuji sleeping so peacefully. His hair was a mess, and his lips quirked into a smile, even passed out as he was. It hurt more to realize that he wanted to stay. 

Gathering his things, Akira took one look back into his bedroom. Ryuji hadn’t moved and he had to forcefully turn away. He checked his phone several times that day, tucked into his bed with only Morgana for company. Ryuji never texted and Akira got the hint. It was a one-time thing.

Except - he was wrong. Every party thereafter found one of them sneaking out in the morning, or pressed into a dark corner of a spare room with their friends on the other side of the door. Every time it was the same, they were just friends until the drinks started flowing and they eventually gravitated to each other. 

And every morning that started with an empty bed, or taking an Uber back to his place left a Ryuji sized hole in his heart. It  _ hurt. _

Every time his phone pinged an announcement for a gathering, he struggled. Did he go and get hurt in the morning? Or did he stay home missing out on the fun? In the end, he always went. 

It took two months for someone else to notice, which Akira thought was funny considering they hadn’t been very sneaky. Ann cornered him in Shiho’s bedroom, closing the door firmly with a hand perched on her hip. He knew right away what it was about and sank onto the bed.

“So you wanna tell me why you’ve been ignoring the group chat, and more importantly why you’ve been ignoring me?” she asked, leaning against the door. Outside, the party was still warming up, most of their friends still on the way. 

He sighed; tried to find the words to explain, gave up. He raked his fingers through his hair and shrugged. “I haven’t been feeling too hot lately I guess.”

Ann settled next to him. “Is it Ryuji?”

Nodding weakly, he let out a grunt when she pulled him into her arms. “Oh, my poor lovesick boys.”

“Boys? You mean boy - just me,” he scoffed, but he didn’t leave her embrace. 

“Are you blind? He is  _ smitten _ with you!” Ann said. “Look, I think you guys need to talk. Otherwise, you’re just going to keep on spending your days pining for each other and that’s painful to see.” 

“I don’t think I can, Ann. It’s not that easy.”

She combed her fingers through his hair and he melted as her nails scratched his head. “I think you're making yourself miserable when you don’t have to. Talk to him.”

They stayed in Shiho’s room for a little bit longer, tucked into the quiet bubble they had made for themselves. Akira stopped them before they walked out. “Thanks, Ann. You’re a good friend.” He gave her a smile and she laughed.

“Just remember me when you’re getting married in a few years!” Leaning up and giving him a quick peck on the cheek, she murmured another ‘good luck’ before skipping off into the impossible amount of people crammed into Shiho’s dining room. 

It was Morgana’s cold nose pressed to his neck that woke him. Stirring with a quiet yawn, Akira pushed him off gently. He didn’t remember going home the night before, but the warmth at his back told him all he needed to know. Ann’s words played in his mind, a repetition of painful wishes. 

Ryuji’s eyes fluttered open before he could snap his shut and they stared at each other. “Oh,” he said and Akira flushed. “This is the first time we’ve ever woken up at the same time.” 

Akira could only nod.

Ryuji sat up, scrubbing his hand through messy locks. “I guess I’ll go ahead and leave if you want?” He moved out from under the blankets, bending down to pick up his boxers.

“Wait!” Akira said, the word exploding in the silence between them. Ryuji froze, looking back over his shoulder. Surprised by his own actions, Akira shrunk back, picking at the edge of his comforter. 

“Akira?”

“Why do you always leave?”

Ryuji turned, rubbing the back of his head. “I mean, isn’t that what you want me to do? You always leave before I wake up too.” 

Akira continued picking. “That’s what you do when it’s a one night stand.”

Crinkling his nose, Ryuji said, “I think we’re past the one-night stand stage, buddy. We’re very much in the ‘friends with benefits' area.”

“I don’t know the etiquette for that.”

“Neither do I. I thought you did,” Ryuji said.

It was silent between them as they stared at one another. The sunlight filtering through his curtains made the moment surreal, and Akira almost didn’t dare to breathe. “Do you want to just be friends with benefits?” he asked, eventually.

Settling against the wall, Ryuji tucked his legs close. Akira had never noticed the long scar running down his shin and wanted to reach out to touch it. There was so much they still didn’t know about each other. His heart ached at the thought. 

“Gonna be real with you man, I don’t think I can do it,” Ryuji said with a frown. “Like, I’m a ‘either we’re together or we’re not’ kind of guy. And- “ he took a deep breath, “and I kinda wanna be with you.” 

The air deflated from Akira’s lungs and all he could think of, once again, was Ann’s words the night before. 

“I won’t give you a love confession or anything man, don’t look at me like that, but like, I’ve been totally for real into you since we met and I don’t think we can keep doing this because I’m just gonna get hurt,” Ryuji blurted. 

“I see,” Akira said, faintly, “that’s good.” He gave a small smile at Ryuji’s confusion and continued, “I feel the same.”

“Oh,” Ryuji replied, and then his face broke out into a huge grin. “Oh,” he said again. “Come here.”

Setting the butterflies in his stomach aside, he met Ryuji halfway. Their kiss felt like the dawning of a new day, of a perfect summer, of all of his fears dissipating. It was liberating. 

“I guess this means you don’t want me to leave?” Ryuji asked with a shit-eating grin. He laughed when Akira pushed his shoulder lightly. “Wanna get breakfast?”

Nodding, Akira said thoughtfully, “It’s our first breakfast together.”

“One of many!” Ryuji replied, jumping up to tug on his pants. “Pancakes at the Golden Dome sound good?”

“Sounds better than good,” Akira said. 

After feeding Morgana, they stepped out of his apartment and into the morning. Together, hand in hand, they walked to breakfast. 

**Author's Note:**

> Is that end sappy or what??? Oh well haha   
> I hope you guys liked this, feel free to comment and kudo if that's your cup of tea!!


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